Shiny Stuff

I'm an engaged person. Wow...I mean...wow. I feel like I set the women's equality movement back 1,000 years every time I say this but....I love the whole ring thing. First there is the idea that somebody had to make a huge sacrifice to give you this expensive gift. Then there is the pleasure of simply having a lovely new piece of jewelry. And then there is the (ghads I can't believe I'm admitting to this) the whole public symbol part. Its cool and I wear my new ring like a merit badge. I've been picked for the varsity team. I'm going to the show. I'm worthy.

Sad but true. Tisk tisk....

Still I hope we get married soon. If for no other reason than I feel like a total dorkus saying, "My fiance." I would stick with the "boyfriend" thing but Frenchie corrects me every time I do. He's kind of kidding, but kind of not. I feel like Elaine in Seinfield every time I say it. Yike.

When you get engaged, everybody in the known universe immediately asks you, "When is the date?" I feel like this is a test of your seriousness. No date = no real commitment. Sadly in our case no date = no money. Which is only partly true as we have our hands full with house shopping, moving, etc. But I was looking at one of those wedding magazines that talks about how much to spend on this and that. It was vaguely funny. Yeah it would be nice to have some quality photos to keep for years to come. But if some photographer wants me to spend $3,000 on photos he'll have to grab it out of my cold dead hand. And don't get me started on the rest of it (invitations, party favors, etc.). Can somebody explain to me why I need to spend $500 on a wedding cake? Is there gold in it?

But back to the topic. Frenchie is a sweetie and he has good taste. I love my ring. And I love him.

The Agony and the Ecstasy

Found a house. Amidst the fake wood panneling and racoon droppings that seem the norm within our price range, we stumbled upon a little yellow 2-story house surrounded by trees and flowering perennials. Even better, it was void of shag carpeting, cat pee, and wouldn't need work the second we stepped into the building. Frankly - it was delightful.

And we were delighted to make an offer. That day. For a bit over asking. And the little old lady who is selling it was delighted with us. The apple-cheeked young couple who wanted to raise a family in her house. And thus we were told "This is a done deal." A direct quote from the listing agent.

Well while the little old lady waited for her children to read through the contract, another offer came through. Less money but they offered to buy the house without an inspection. And this was apparently more appealing than the apple-cheeked young couple who offered more money. So we offered even more money. And the little old lady got yet another offer - less money (still) but no inspection AND cash.

And thus we were out. Because apparently avoiding an inspection was worth more to her than money and the future prospect of little baby feet running about on her lovingly cared for wood floors.

The whole thing stinks although neither of us can figure out what the backstory is. But we feel strongly that there is one. That the whole thing was doomed from the beginning.

And of course there is the dissapointing process of going back to the drawingboard to look through the houses built on swamp land or filled with small rooms covered in thick aqua paint to figure out which is the least disagreable and thus worth a flight to go look at. And sadly as of now, the answer is a resounding, "none."

House Hunting Fun...

... or How I Ended Up Living in this Van

The move to VT is prompted by many things - one of which is the promise of a lower cost of living. Sure I could eventually save up enough to afford a house in California. But by that time I will be 80 years old and more likely spending my money on a new hip. And we CAN afford a house in VT. Just not a great one.

After months of research, I've determined that we can afford a decent house in VT but that it will have a few liabilities. Its just a matter of determining which liabilities we're most comfortable with. Select a minimum of 3 from the list below:

- house is in undisearable location (next to sewage treatment plant)
- house needs immediate repair (you can throw a baseball through the hole in the roof)
- house has not been updated since 1947 (electrical wiring is expected to light structure on fire any minute)
- interior has not been updated since 1960 (how do you spell lenolium?)
- neighbors are not desireable (felons, child molestors, or both)
- house lacks major feature (garage, closets, bathroom)
- previous owner did not take good care in some regard (house reeks of cat pee)
- house is haunted
- house is so far away from Burlington, will require private jet to commute there
- house is only 500 square feet
- house is built in wetlands

We found one that seemed only slightly undesireable last Friday. It needed a new roof immediately ($10K), had not been updated in 40 years, was near a quarry, and had neighbors that left Budwiser cans in the front yard. Four days later they had an offer.

We found another seemingly reasonable house today. It hasn't been updated since 1966 but seems clean. The bathrooms are minute. But the neighbors seem reasonable. Its been on the market for 3 days and we just bought a $500 plane ticket to check it out in 2 days. Hopefully it hasn't sold by then.

There are houses that have been on the market for months. They're so hideous that only a mother could love them. My favorite has fake wood panneling throughout and one of the bathrooms isn't finished (which doesn't stop them from listing it as a 3/2). The master bedroom is so dark I think vampires are hiding in there. And they actually have wagon wheel light fixtures throughout the house. Ironically none of these people ever drop the prices as they are seemingly resolute in their convinction that somebody will get desperate enough to take them up on their prize residence. And who knows- after a few months of $500 redy-eye flights to VT, maybe we will.