House Hunting Fun...

... or How I Ended Up Living in this Van

The move to VT is prompted by many things - one of which is the promise of a lower cost of living. Sure I could eventually save up enough to afford a house in California. But by that time I will be 80 years old and more likely spending my money on a new hip. And we CAN afford a house in VT. Just not a great one.

After months of research, I've determined that we can afford a decent house in VT but that it will have a few liabilities. Its just a matter of determining which liabilities we're most comfortable with. Select a minimum of 3 from the list below:

- house is in undisearable location (next to sewage treatment plant)
- house needs immediate repair (you can throw a baseball through the hole in the roof)
- house has not been updated since 1947 (electrical wiring is expected to light structure on fire any minute)
- interior has not been updated since 1960 (how do you spell lenolium?)
- neighbors are not desireable (felons, child molestors, or both)
- house lacks major feature (garage, closets, bathroom)
- previous owner did not take good care in some regard (house reeks of cat pee)
- house is haunted
- house is so far away from Burlington, will require private jet to commute there
- house is only 500 square feet
- house is built in wetlands

We found one that seemed only slightly undesireable last Friday. It needed a new roof immediately ($10K), had not been updated in 40 years, was near a quarry, and had neighbors that left Budwiser cans in the front yard. Four days later they had an offer.

We found another seemingly reasonable house today. It hasn't been updated since 1966 but seems clean. The bathrooms are minute. But the neighbors seem reasonable. Its been on the market for 3 days and we just bought a $500 plane ticket to check it out in 2 days. Hopefully it hasn't sold by then.

There are houses that have been on the market for months. They're so hideous that only a mother could love them. My favorite has fake wood panneling throughout and one of the bathrooms isn't finished (which doesn't stop them from listing it as a 3/2). The master bedroom is so dark I think vampires are hiding in there. And they actually have wagon wheel light fixtures throughout the house. Ironically none of these people ever drop the prices as they are seemingly resolute in their convinction that somebody will get desperate enough to take them up on their prize residence. And who knows- after a few months of $500 redy-eye flights to VT, maybe we will.