Happy Halloween

A good if largely unsatisfying weekend.

Frenchie came to town which is always a mixed blessing. As desperate as I am to see him, his departure leaves me feeling hollow and lost. Two more months - I'll manage. But I'm feeling frayed by our distant homeless lifestyle.

He also had his first American Halloween, complete with costume party, costume, brain-shaped jello molds, etc. He was adorable as Pepe le Pew. I sadly was a bit less exciting as "nameless cat" or "Object of Pepe's desire."

It was a lovely party but it was yet another example of the fact that I have reached the Age of the Crossroads. When in your 20's a party invitation is unquestionably an invitation to hang with other 20 year olds who will be imbibing heavily. The odds of seeing some mismatched pair making out behind the ficus tree are high. And you don't plan on leaving the party before midnight. As you creep into your late 20's the basic party math stays the same only the odds of the hookup behind the tree decrease and the odds that most of the party guests will COME as couples increases.

Somewhere in the early 30's the party scene takes a subtle but unambiguous turn. Specifically, people start bringing children. And there is nothing like awkwardly downing an Irish Car Bomb under the unwavering gaze of a sober 10 year old to make you realize that its time for the have and the have nots (kids) to diverge socially for a while.

Then on Sunday we had a slightly hungover soccer game where the upper division league champs handed us our asses on a platter. I expected to loose. But I don't know what hurt more, the 0:3 score or their happy laughter as they blithly lobbed shot after shot at our poor and largely undefended goalie. Ugh.

5 days till D-day (I give notice at work on Friday).

Another Option

What if I just move to VT with Frenchie, skip the whole career path, get knocked up and do the housewife thing. Personally I think I would love it.

My fear is that I know dropping out of the workforce has the same effect of buying a new car - your resale value drops the minute you drive off the lot. And when the day comes to re-enter the rat race, it can be a real uphill climb.

Hmmmm....me a housewife?

Door # 3

A friend was bitching at work today. Only today was different. Today the bitching bothered me. Because it was combined with apathy. And it got me thinking.

I think you have a few choices. Only they are discrete, you have to pick one.

#1 Bitch about work. Try to make change.
#2 Accept work for what it is and shuttupaboutit.

Bitching with no interest, thoughts, or initiative to help make it better is kind of a waste of everybody's time. I guess there might be times when you're forced to accept that nothing will change and still need to vent. But I think I was responding badly to the general "not my problem" apathy.

Personally I'm going for door #3 - Moving on. I've bitched at work. I've tried to make changes. And in my fantasy I think I've made a few. But I'm looking forward to moving on. The plan is to come clean on November 7th....

Advice Needed

So....I'm getting ready to give notice. I've always assumed that my boss DOESN'T know that Yves has been in VT since August. But a buddy at work has just suggested that I would be an idiot to think that he doesn't know. Thin walls and all that. So here are my options:

1) Give notice with the "Frenchie JUST got an offer" story. The upside is that if boss DOESN'T know, than this looks the least sneaky. If he DOES, however, I look like a liar and a boob.

2) Give notice with the "Frenchie and I have been trying to make long distance work and it isn't working." Story. The upside is that the boss DOES know, I don't look like a liar and a boob. But if the boss DOES know, than I'm back to looking like a boob. Who does long distance with a fiance?!?! And who does long distance when the distance is ACROSS THE CONTINTINENT!

Ugh.....

SAHM?

3 Weeks till N-Day. N = Notice. As in at work. That I will be leaving.The downside to giving notice is that politically it is very castrating - jerkboy will be empowered to push me out of the way. Frustrating but unavoidable. The upside is that my departure won't be a secret anymore.

And I will get to propose my work-remote plan. Which will either be accepted or rejected. But at least my future job prospects won't be the big gray blob of unknown that it is right now.

So lets say my work-remote plan doesn't fly. Then what?

Option #1
Find a new job. Sure I don't see many or any prospects in VT. And sure I don't really love what I do anyway. But the extra cash would really come in handy for Frenchie and I. Also work tends to be the primary place one makes new friends and being new to town and friendless could be a bit of a bummer.

Option #2
Get knocked up and join the Stay At Home Mom bus. Which is both appealing and scary. I like the idea of being a good Mom and raising my own children. Of not rushing my kids off to daycare so I can make some BS work meeting. Of not having co-workers look at me askew as I leave at 4:00 each day to shuttle kids around. On the other hand, can I really stay home alone every day with an infant and not go totally bonkers?

Hmmmm.....

Huh?!?!?

So Jerkboy and I have been doing the he-said/she-said dance for 3 months. Frustrating, unprofessional, annoying.

What gives me pause for thought is that people seem so ready to believe him. Is he somehow more believable than I am? Am I somehow UN believable? Or is it simply that I would be ashamed to make so public a fuss about another co-worker. Thus he is the relative "squeaky wheel" and gets all the oil.

He presented our (my?) product to the company this morning with all of the passion and entheusiasm of a mouldy potato. Man he is a putz. When I write the great american novel, he will have to be a character. The skinny balding guy who has the unfortunate luck to be balding from the back in that awkward monkish way. The guy who wears the same glasses as my high-school prom date in 1987. The guy who is so socially uncomfortable that when he laughs it sounds like something between a sneeze and a cough.

Back in Office

Just got back from VT where the fall foliage was frustratingly absent. Apparently all our efforts at global warming are paying off - September was 5 degrees warmer than average and the trees are still a nice tropical green.

Still the main reason to go was to see Frenchie. Somehow all of the stress of the past few weeks evaporated the minute I got off the plane. Work, jerkboy, soccer, everything faded like distance in the fog and while I was there, seemed completely irrelevant. In fact now that I'm back in the office I am still not re-engaged - work still seems really irrelevant. Why am I not in VT with Frenchie right now? Oh thats right....cold hard cash. I'm financially bound to stay here till December. Damnit.

It was great to see Frenchie. Ah the joyous football nap. Big warm boyfriend, chilly nights. Purring cat.

Well have meetings to go to. Stress awaits....