Laugh and the World Laughs With You...

Cry and you're forced to spew in a blog because nobody wants to listen to you whine....

HOUSING
I'm tired of living out of a suitcase. I still feel like a guest in the house. Its so freekin hot I can't sleep at night. And despite the fact that cleaning ladies come every week I can't get over the fact that the bathroom feels gross. And yes the lack of sleep is not helping me feel like the delightful petunia I know I should be.

BOSS
I can't even complain about "a" boss because it feels like I have about 8. In fact who exactly is NOT my boss? I've been spending my days being micromanaged eight ways from Sunday and I'm ready to spit blood about it.

TEAM
Your team are supposed to be your homeys, right? Your buddies? Guys who have your back? People you go to lunch with to joke about how much you hate everybody who's NOT on your team. Unless of course various teammates missed the teamwork class and instead use every opportunity to undermine you and sneak around behind your back causing trouble. Its like sleeping with snakes. Only you can't really fall asleep because they keep wriggling around in bed and you never know what exactly they are doing down there.

BOYFRIEND
Yes I love him, all the way. But he is a HUGE slob. In our previous house he had his own room to slob around in. Now that we are sharing a room, his slobby mess is my slobby mess. I step through his socks and underpants each morning and I'll tell you, it is NOT sexy. Picking through dirty underpants on a regular basis does NOT encourage sexy thoughts. In fact the only thought going through my mind is, "Dear ghads, what the hell is going on with this guy and why can't he keep his underpants corralled in one corner of the room!"

SOCCER FRIENDS
Yes I love them and in general they are great people. But one called last night to let me know that somebody was whining about the fact that I order them around on the field. So I asked, "Can you give me some examples of when I've been too bossy?" And was told, "Yeah, she just said you are always telling her to go line, or get open, that sort of thing." OK so she is just the messenger and I DO have a big mouth on the soccer field. But frankly- that's how you play soccer! You talk on the field! You coordinate with your team! Its not like I'm yelling at people or criticizing anybody. I'm trying to make plays happen and I can't do that when people stand around watching me loose the ball because I have nobody to pass to.

Especially irksome as I go out of my WAY to compliment EVERYBODY I play with on a regular basis. Doesn't matter how bad you suck I will find something positive to say. But apparently that goes unnoticed. But the time I told you to drop back for the pass - yeah that was WAY out of line. Grrr....

Its sort of a no-win situation. I play with weaker people because I like them and we have fun. But then they are upset with the fact that I'm trying to coordinate our movements on field a bit better because, well, its been a whole YEAR and we haven't won ONE SINGLE GAME. But they just want to have fun and play recreationally so my on-field coaching isn't appreciated. But then I started a more competitive team with players who are looking to practice, work with a coach, etc. and the people who want to play recreationally are upset because they weren't invited to play.

ROOMATE
Fun guy. Adult child. Now that our financial fortunes are no longer tied I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. But its a good thing we moved out because I don't think I could keep a straight face about his crap anymore. Uh....hello?

-When you have unprotected sex with a child you CANNOT play the victim when she gets pregnant.
-When you race your motorcycle at insane speeds so that you could CLEARLY not avoid any unforeseen obstacles you CANNOT cry foul when you put your bike down because there is a patch of dirt in the road.
- When you complain about women being "fat pigs" because they are 5 lbs overweight you sound insane. Most 40 year old men don't restrict their dating to twiggy 24 year olds. Or if they do it is because they are much richer than you are.

OK that feels better. Now I can get back to work. Phew.