New Way to Not Work on Resume

Well I've found numerous creative outlets to not work on my resume. But none have worked so well as my latest - pregnancy. Yes pregnancy makes it very difficult, nay impossible to work on one's resume.

Well its true. Alexis got knocked up :) Actually we're shocked and delighted. Its totally unexpected and unplanned. You know that speech your Mom gave you about how it only takes ONE TIME? Well apparently she wasn't kidding.

So I just passed the 3 month mark and am mostly recovered from the first trimester. For starters, Morning Sickness should just be called All-Day Sickness. And it doesn't always involve vomiting, sometimes it means just feeling nauseous and dizzy all the the time. Then there is the gas, heartburn, and insomnia. How joyous.

Now I'm less focused on my resume and more focused on finding a lovely gown to squeeze my ever-thickening middle into. Most people get to be pregnant in the privacy of their own homes. I however have a pending wedding to look fabulous for and thus am busy ordering empire waisted dresses over the internet in the vain hopes of finding one that will not make me look like a gym bag. Unfortunately VT shopping is limited to Sears and the occasional Gap so any gown procural will entail shipping costs.

Unfortunately pregnancy has also put the cork in my career plan bottle, at least for a while. Neither the Frenchie nor I am that comfortable with daycare at a super young age. Plus VT salaries are so low that daycare would probably eat most of my takehome anyway. Its hard to imagine raising a latchkey kid for a net annual gain of $500. I'm also uncomfortable taking a job knowing that I plan to quit in 6 months. So although we have months before any major new family members arrive, I'm home and bored. B-O-R-E-D.

Now that tasks annoying resume-avoidal tasks are off my plate I will have to find something else engaging to do. That requires only 6 months and no heavy lifting. Any ideas?

How Not to Work on Your Resume

When looking for distractions to keep you away from making progress on your resume, having high-speed internet access is key. Yes the Internet is your friend, especially when that nagging resume is calling for you. A gym membership can also be key. In addition to lengthy workouts, travel to and from the gym can be used for small errands that might otherwise be forgotten. However when its time to work on the resume, any potential distraction is a blessing and small errands are not so small when you are going after 8-10 of them per trip. And lets not forget the phone. Ah the phone is a wonder device that can be used to delay resume work for hours while chatting away with other unemployed friends who are, like you, glad for the distraction.

Yes avoiding the resume can be a challenge but if you are truly committed, you too can keep from working on yours.

What Unemployed Alexis Does

1) Web surfing. Its shocking how much time can pass while I read up on celebrity gossip online. And for the record, I do believe that Tom and Kate have broken up. Psycho is only charming for so long.

2) Going to the gym. Or more accurately since I've signed up with a personal meat-head trainer who kicks my ass for fun, limping home from the gym too weak to lift the cat. This should all be worth it when I'm looking fantastic at the wedding. Or when I pull something and turn to spending my days in rehab whirlpools.

3) Shopping for dinner. I literally go to the grocery every other day. I understand the theory of shopping for the whole week but I get tired of whats in the fridge about 12 hours after I purchased it. Plus it makes me feel very european.

4) Learning French. In my pigeon-American way. I can sort of make myself understood now with a few words and gestures. I'm more like a French mime.

5) Video games. Damn them. They're like yuppie crack.

6) Wedding planning. It is a full time job and I'm happy to say that I am glad to be unemployed to do it. Seriously I don't know how career couples get all this stuff done.

7) Staring at window and waiting for sign from God as to what to do next. So far no sign but am hopeful for tomorrow.

Unemployed Again

(Sung to the tune of On the road Again)...

Well its official - Friday was my last day as an employee. Which was less of a relief than I thought it would be. I was looking forward to being "done" since I got to VT. I felt really disconnected, HATED working alone, and my boss definitely didn't hide his distaste of remote employees. So much so that he didn't return any of my calls in the past week as I attempted to have the "best of luck to you too" chat. Thus my last day of work was a relatively silent and solitary affair.

But not I have no entanglements, I'm free and clear to move on to new endeavors in here. Which would be more exciting if I had even the remote idea of what that new endeavor would be. Although I suppose now I have lots of time to think about it.

The Bridal Show

It was as I feared - a David Lynch experience filled with 18 year old bridezillas, princess dresses, punch fountains, and midgets. OK well maybe not midgets.

It was PACKED, so much so that you had to stand in line to get in. As we stood there (me wearing a tacky yellow bride to be sticker which still haunts me) I knew that it was likely not worth the wait but felt compelled to stick it out. We squeezed into the cattle car of a show to shuffle around looking at booths with DJs, limos, rented equipment, dresses, florists, etc. I even entered for a few drawings which was likely a mistake that will fill my mailbox with unwanted crap for years to come.

But in general my thought throughout the whole experience was - who gives a crap? I mean seriously - do candles with "Frenchie & Alexis Forever" really speak to our relationship in any meaningful way? And the princess bridal dresses completely with Miss America tiaras, what the hell is going on with that? And am I the last person in America who still see Limos as something that harkens back to high school proms? Having some overly tan greaseball drive me around on my special day doesn't really say anything other than "unnecessary $500 expense." Hell my Dad has a nicer car and he doesn't smell funny - maybe I can get him to drive me around for free.

So far planning our wedding (and we don't really have much of a plan yet) has been more of a process of self-discovering. We are discovering that most of the traditional wedding trappings simply aren't us. We want to get wedding with great friends, great wine, and great food. Most everything else is just details. So we'll continue figuring out how this is all going to work. But I hope that it will be monogrammed unity candle free....

Veil of Darkness

Its 10:00 am and its dark out. Dark enough that I had to turn lights on to get dressed. Dark enough that I had to turn lights on to work. The sky is so grey that its literally blocking out the sun. Ugh.

So what have I learned about VT since I got here? Well lets see...

#1 - Only children play soccer. I did manage to get on 2 teams. One is all college students and the other all high school students. One girl told me she was a Sophomore - I thought, "please God let her mean a sophomore in COLLEGE" but she wasn't. Before meeting these teams I had offered to bring beer to the occasional game. Frenchie teased me, "You'll have to wait a few years until your team mates are legal."

#2 - Weddings here are expensive. I had hoped that since we now live in rural VT that they would actually be cheaper but not so much. How can it cost $85/person for dinner? I mean we're talking steak and shrimp here. So why $85? Because its a wedding and you end up paying a small fortune to celebrate your love with people you care about. And don't get me started on all the little fees they tack on to everything. You want to use the bathroom? Oh that's EXTRA.

#3 - There are too many women here wearing those Christmas sweaters that you laugh at in the store. The large red cardigan with sequined santas dancing around the collar and shiny strings of lights circling the sleeves. The ones that invariably are marked down 80% after Christmas because they are so horrifying they can barely give them away. Well now I know where they find homes - VT.

So there's the report for now. We're going to a Bridal Show on Sunday which I'm sure will be a fertile source of more comments so check back for more ;)